When my beautiful bride and I got married (many many years ago), one of the cherished memories we created was using a crystal wishing well as a cake topper. That sparkling piece was a symbol of the hopes and dreams we each held for the future. It was also a reminder of the uncertainty that lay before us. Would we be happy? Could we learn to adjust to each other? What was just around the bend for us?
Not very long after, that shiny object was sitting on a shelf, observed but rarely thought about. Within a few short years, as we were moving to a new home, the wishing well became cracked and broken. It truly symbolized our lives at that time. Like the pretty glass, our marriage was crumbling around us. I was pulling away and she was glad for it, as I was not a pleasant person then. By God’s grace He saved our marriage and healed both of us. (read our story here)
I’m not sure what ever happened to the original piece, but we soon replaced the broken well with a new shiny one to symbolize (again) our newly reformed union. And like the first one, it soon ended up on a shelf gathering dust.
One of the strategies we have learned to keep our relationship vibrant and growing through the years is to take time together to love and study each other and to learn new habits for life. We recently enjoyed a time we called ‘A Weekend to Remember‘. Our weekend included laughs, love, and learning. One of the special things I planned for my princess was that I would do all the cooking (and cleaning!). I set a special table with our best dishes and tablecloth, and even got out the (now dusty) wishing well.
As we looked over and past it that first evening, my lady jumped a little then started laughing. It seemed that even though I had dusted off the wishing well and it was sparkling clean on the outside, a bug had decided to crawl into the bucket and die! We spent the better part of the meal discussing how much that wishing well mirrored our marriage. We talked about our resolve to continue cleaning not just the outside of our marriage (how we look to other people), but the necessity of cleaning our hearts and desires and motives. In short, making sure that the important part of our relationship is whole and wholesome and healthy.
I would encourage each you to plan your own Weekend to Remember. Find a marriage seminar or get a DVD of one. Plan special meals and events. Act as though the only other person that is important is your spouse. If you need ideas, contact me… I have tons of ’em.
Thanks for sharing your story. People need to know that marriages lasting many years are not all sweetness and light. They take work and commitment. Congrats to you and Lynn.